Dear Lord we should have been more careful

Dear Lord we should have been more careful

you and me that superteam, even though it wasn’t always clear

how evenly we split the work and how much you love

me and why we rarely talk anymore. Anyway I thought

the only time our friendship really broke

was when your gentle pause took the breath

right from her chest, couldn’t breathe

once you pressed down, be more careful

next time and don’t leave her broken.

The way the bag of saline was too clear

to be replacing blood, but you must have thought

it was an act of love.

But we should have a talk about love

what it is and why I’m angry you took her breath.

Dear Lord my thoughts

were as clear as that bag of saline, carefully

dripping inside of me, emptying clearly

not into the right place, but give me a break,

sometimes I don’t want to think about things. My heart broke

and you broke it, and you don’t even love

me the way that I love you, it’s clear

I need you, but you don’t need me. You don’t need to breathe,

with you I don’t need to be careful

about what I say to you or watch my thoughts.

But patience arrives, and I think my thoughts

and how when something breaks –

if when it was being built you were careful

enough to watch how it was done – then with love

you can fix it, if you hold your breath

and put your mind to it and if you’re thinking clearly.

Dear Lord when I was born I was clear

and unblemished but you found

these ways to break my trust and take my breath

and that’s nothing compared to what you broke

when you didn’t tell me I wouldn’t get your love.

When you don’t tell me things you should be more careful.

It’s just that my mind was so clear until you broke

something you shouldn’t have and thought that I would always love

someone who doesn’t breathe why weren’t you more careful.

December 15